In my work, I often talk about the power of attention. How, without realizing it, within an instant, what we place our attention on can take us off course mentally, and how we can get “pulled in” by the gravity of our thoughts. How our bodies then react to the “inner movies” (or “daydreams”) that play out, and how easy it can be for us to get carried away by the cascades of negative thoughts that stream and build up in our minds.
Today, I want to dive deeper into the mechanics of how this all works and help you see what’s literally taking place within your reality as that process unfolds. We’re going to look at the mechanics of the mind to answer a fundamental question: why do my thoughts feel so real even when they aren’t happening?
Everything I’m about to explain is something you can literally verify within yourself on a moment-to-moment basis, and it’s a reality that’s been there your entire life, you’ve likely just never noticed it. In fact, it’s something that’s taking place right now, regardless of where you are or what you’re doing.
The empty space where your thoughts live
Take a minute to do something with me right now: Look around you and notice everything that exists in your physical world at this exact moment in time. Look at the ground, the objects in front of you, the ones to either side of you, behind you, and above you.
Notice how everything you see is made up of some “form” of matter. Regardless of where you are, there are physical “things” around you, and you’re at the centre of it all. You exist right here, right now, in this very moment, with “matter” surrounding you.
Now, take a second to think back to when you were between 4 and 6 years old. Recall an experience that took place around that time. As you think about it, remember what existed back then. At that time, you were also “first person”, with physical “objects” surrounding you. And also at that time, you were there right in the middle of it all, as everything took place around you.
Just like right now, back then, you were in a time that you would have described as “now”. You were in a single “moment” in time and space, called “now”.
Now think back to any other time in your life, and you’ll notice that you were in that same “location” (or vantage point) as you are right now. You were in the “now” moment that existed at that time, in the center of your perceived reality with “objects of matter” around you.
No matter when you think back to, there were always “objects of matter” around you, but you were always in the exact same “vantage point” of location, in the centre of your perceived reality. No matter what point in your life it was, you would have thought back then that you were “here and now”, even though “here and now” looked different then.
Think of “here and now” as a literal location spatially, with you at the centre, looking out with your awareness at the world or at the “objects of matter” around you. If you think about any time in your life, no matter what was taking place outside of you, you had this same “this is happening now” experience.
No matter where or “when” you were, you’ve always been there “now”. Because of this, it’s likely safe to assume that you’ll always be wherever you are, “now”. Regardless of the time in your life or where you’re physically located, the “now” moment will always be here with you.
Now, as you look around you in this very moment, I’d like you to imagine that all of the objects/matter that surround you disappear, so that nothing in the physical world exists anymore at all. What’s left is just empty space.
Notice how, even without any “matter” surrounding you, you’re still in the same “centre position” as your vantage point, and you’re still “now”. You’re actually still “here and now”, even though “here” doesn’t tangibly exist in “physical” reality. “Here” isn’t a physical location, it’s spatial, and you never leave it.
Now I’d like for you to think about those “daydreams” I mentioned. You’ll notice that when you’re in a daydream, they, too, fill up this exact same “empty space” that surrounds you. They just appear to you in a different “form”. Instead of physical matter, they’re made up of something more mental or internal, like the energy of a memory or a worry. But while those daydreams (or night dreams) are taking place, all of what’s happening as it does, still takes place right here and now. In the exact same “space” that you currently are in. In the exact same “now” moment you’re always in.
The truth about your past and future
When you slow down and pay attention to this literal truth, something very important becomes obvious.
You never leave this “space” at all. You never have and you likely never will. Every single moment of your life has happened in this exact same “space”, the now. Spatially, where you’re “located” is the same, but the “objects” around you change. This is a “non-linear” way of noticing your reality.
Any time you’ve had thoughts about your past or your future, those thoughts (those “realities”) both show up here and now. It’s just that, when you think about them, they appear to you in your mind as images, movies, feelings, or audio that takes place in this same “space” that surrounds you.
Whether you’re thinking about something that happened ten years ago, or something you’re worried might happen next week, you’re still here and now with your physical presence.
Your past only exists as a memory in your mind now, and the future only exists as your imagination now. When you take those thoughts away and notice what’s left, it’s just you, here, at the very centre of it all, in this exact moment in time, the only moment there’s ever been. Now.
The present moment.
And this is where things start to get interesting. It’s also where your life can start to shift.
Why anxiety, guilt, and shame feel so real
Anxiety, guilt, and shame, and any other negative thought that’s ever haunted you, has never happened anywhere else. They’ve all happened here and now.
Anxiety is you imagining the future, right now. Guilt and shame are you internally replaying your version of the past, right now.
When anxiety creeps up, even though your thoughts can “pull you in” with their gravity, you’re not actually in the future. You’re just witnessing your assumption of what will happen in the future as it plays out in your mind, but the whole time, you are here. You’re in the same space you’ve always been, watching an assumed version of your future play out in your mind.
When guilt or shame shows up, you’re not back in the past. You’ve just been pulled into the gravity of your thoughts, which have made your subconscious mind think that you’re living that moment right now. Your inner realities just fill the space around you so completely that they feel just as real as whatever’s happening around you physically.
Your body reacts to what you’re “absorbed” into. Your posture shifts. Your tone changes. Your nervous system responds as if what you’re imagining or remembering is actually happening right now. This is why our internal “movies” can be so all-consuming. Because when they’re playing out, our attention is fully inside of them, and whatever fills this space around us is what feels like reality.
So the key thing to notice is this: No matter how intense a thought or feeling is, it’s only inside of you.
If you can ground back into this “now” space with your awareness, as one of those “movies” is taking place, you’ll then have the ability to choose how to respond to what’s pulling you in. You’ll have detached from the gravity of the thought, and added space between you and it (literally). On the other hand, if you let your inner world take over, it can easily feel like your choice has been taken away, and off you go.
The problem with staying in your “inner movies”
Over time, if you replay the same movies for long enough, going over the same moments again and again in your mind (and amplifying them by creating new outcomes that never actually happened), something subtle but very important takes place:
You start relating to the world based on what’s inside your head instead of what’s actually happening (or has happened) in real life. Your actions in life start to reflect a different reality than any present moment truth you’ve ever lived. Over time, that builds.
Over time, if you replay the same movies for long enough, going over the same moments again and again in your mind (and amplifying them by creating new outcomes that never actually happened), something subtle but very important takes place:
You start relating to the world based on what’s inside your head instead of what’s actually happening (or has happened) in real life. Your actions in life start to reflect a different reality than any present moment truth you’ve ever lived. Over time, that builds.
Something to sit with
You don’t need to do anything with this just yet. Just start to notice the truth of what’s taking place as you move through your days: notice where your attention goes, and what kind of “reality” ends up filling the space around you when it does.
Notice how familiar some of those inner worlds are, how quickly they pull you in, and how normal it feels to stay there. There’s a reason for all of it.
In my next article, we’ll look at why certain thoughts and inner movies that play out have so much gravity to them, and why part of you keeps automatically returning to them. For now, just pay attention to where all of it’s taking place.
(Right here, right now).
Nikki
Next steps and resources
- If you’re new here:
Start with How Your Subconscious Mind Shapes Your Everyday Life. - What to read next:
To understand why this keeps happening…
Frequently Asked Questions:
Why do my thoughts feel so real even when they aren’t true?
Your body and nervous system react to the “inner movies” you play in your mind. When your attention is fully absorbed in a thought, your subconscious treats it as a present-moment reality.
How can I stop being pulled into negative thoughts?
The first step is grounding yourself in the “now” space. By noticing that the thought is just an internal image appearing in your current space, you create distance from its gravity.
What is the difference between a thought and reality?
Reality is what is happening physically around you right now. A thought is a mental “form” that appears in the same space but is made of memory or imagination rather than matter.